Being Alone Can Be Healthy

Sometimes I think society views that if you are solo and unaccompanied then it’s a crisis and that something is wrong with you. I disagree as I feel having time for yourself is necessary. However saying that there’s has been a study conducted by the BBC in where thousands of people took part of the Loneliness Experiment that 40% of 16 to 24-year-olds who took part told us they often or very often feel lonely, compared with 27% of over 75s. From the study, people felt loneliness is having no one to talk to and feeling left out and people who felt lonely most often also had the most intense and the longest lasting feelings of loneliness.

Being alone and being lonely may have different meanings but they do add a similar value. To be honest living in London can be a lonely place to live in as I feel it’s difficult interacting with people. I remember one time a few years ago, I finished work late at night and was happy to leave. I was smiling at a lady but she replied why are you smiling? I was thinking to myself why is this happening?  It’s a crime to smile a person in London otherwise they will be thinking you are mad.  At times, you are against the world as we live in a society in where to be successful, you have to be selfish so some people will not have your best interests at heart so as result it can be hard to put your trust in people which can make a person feel alone.

On the other hand, being alone can be implemented as you would like to go on an event, watch a movie or gone on holiday and you want to bring your friends along but they are unable to come and as a result you no longer want to attend. You feel sad but you don’t need your FRIENDS in order to have a good time. You can enjoy your company as I feel you have to rely on yourself as people will let you down.  Happiness comes from inside.

I am a person who likes time for myself  and it’s so needed as I need to recharge my batteries and of course feel happy when I do my interests.  This year I went to Greece with family and friends and I had a good time. However on my last full day at Greece I wanted to explore myself and even though I did explore, I got held back much to my frustration and from that moment, I felt in order to have a best experience, travelling abroad alone could be the best option. I have yet to do this but this is one of my plans to do in the future.

Being alone is not a bad thing. It can use as a time to reflect, gather your thoughts but also know about yourself and know what your purpose and goals are. So if you want to travel alone, you go do it. If you want to go to the gym alone, you go do it. If you want to attend a language class alone you go do it. If you want to achieve something, you go to go it alone as no one is going to do it apart from you. Doing your hobbies alone is worthwhile. Besides you can meet like mined people and form friendships. So even though it may not be a good experience loneliness and feel alone as you may feel sad, having time for yourself is something that could be useful. I have gone to sporting events and went to cinema alone and it felt good. It’s not a bad experience as people make out to be and don’t let them talk you out of it from what they are saying as they’re uncomfortable in doing it for themselves. It’s important to be self-assured so don’t hesitate and enjoy your own company.  I will end with an insta post from Idris Elba in where he talks about trying something new and has points that reflect from what I was talking about. It’s a great post so enjoy!

R.I.C.E. (Relationships Is Challenging Emotionally)

“There’s power in love. There’s power in love to help and heal when nothing else will. There’s power in love to lift up and liberate when nothing else will. There’s power in love to show us to way to live.” This is some of the words from Bishop Michael Curry in where he delivered an inspired sermon at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle wedding last month.

Love is a powerful thing. It brings two people together in a relationship where they cherish one another in where sacrifices for love are made. Interestingly I have written a piece about this before but this was at university so this is actually a sequel.

Relationships can be a whirlwind. One day you want to be in a relationship and be with a partner but one day you think why should I be in a relationship? It’s long and besides I want to enjoy life. Well whatever you think of relationships is something that’s special and exciting. You have weeks of honeymoon with your partner but after it ends, the relationships becomes serious.

Relationships is challenging emotionally and its something you need to be prepared for as not only you are thinking of yourself but thinking of your partner and it’s important to have the right mind set as being in a relationship as its hard work. You will have to compromise with your partner and put time and effort otherwise it causes problems. I know people who have been in relationships hoped that their previous relationships could have last longer but made mistakes in where their partner ended the relationship. I am one of those people in where you feel I could have done more but you know mistakes will help you grow to a better person.

And you being a better person it could help you attract a potential partner as they are drawn to you as they see you polished. If you are attractive to them that’s great but have to be wary as you don’t want to waste your time with the wrong person. Making time and effort with someone in where you are getting to know their likes/dislikes and their aspirations are time consuming and it’s key that you and your potential partner are in the same path. So if you want to make sure you are in the right path ask these questions below:

  1. Do you see yourself in getting married and having kids?
  2. What do you look for in a potential partner?
  3. Do you have a desire to be in a relationship?
  4. What are you are aspirations?

This could be big questions but it’s important to ask and ask early so you can know your ground and if that person is genuine then great. However it’s hard to know whether a person you are dating is genuine or not. They may say all these things to keep you on guard and use you to get something out of you and when they have got it they gone awol. This can be the same for someone who wants to be your friend. A person may not like you but wants to be your friend but use you for their own benefits.

The dating world is tough in where you hoped to be with someone but after dating them for a while they decided they don’t want to progress further in where they giving you hint something could happen but you later found out them just waiting for something better to come along. My dating experiences so far have been full of disappointments and frankly it’s hard to take as the situation keeps reoccurring. I remember at the start of the year I went on a date with a girl. Was a good date and we seems to vibe well. I said I wouldn’t kiss on a first date but the date was so good why not. You think second date is defo on the cards yeah? Days later she didn’t want to see me no more as there was no chemistry. I was baffled. When you date someone in where you like them but they don’t like in that way it’s sad but you can’t expect anyone to like you so you have to keep moving. However when you date a person in where on occasions you put an considerable time and effort for that person in where you hoped to be in a relationship but you have been knocked back, pride can be bruised.

You get rejected and you feel you are not just good enough not for that person but for any person. I feel like this is I’ve been rejected by women and although rejection is part of life when this is a repeat process your confidence and pride is low. Sometimes I feel I just want to retire in dating and not stop pursing women. I told my friends this and they laugh. You will laugh too but this is what I feel because it’s mentally and emotionally draining getting to know someone new and when nothing comes to it, you have to repeat the same process and it’s tiring.

I guess when it comes to dating I am loyal but it could be a flaw as that person I am dating could take advantage of it. You invested a lot and when nothing happens, feelings are hurt. On the other hand, it can be frustrating as with dating you will encounter with time wasters and boy I’ve encounter with many. You think that person you are seeing want to be in a relationship but when it comes to the crunch it isn’t the case. This is why I think you shouldn’t be too invested in that person until you actually in a relationship with that person. You may act and think you are a couple as you do couple things but if you are not official with that person, all of this you are doing is irrelevant and you could be in a situationship. Yes it can hard not wanting to give your all with that person as you really like them but it’s good to guard your heart.

People don’t want to get into a relationship because they want to guard their heart as they don’t want to get hurt and showing your vulnerability to someone. This is normal to feel like this as past experiences can make you feel uneasy and resentful. I get it but don’t let the past damage your future. Don’t let it hinder you to take a chance with someone who feels a connection with. Take a chance. You will never know if you don’t try.

A well-known quote “Some people don’t know what they have until it’s gone.” Don’t be one of those people who may regret their decision weeks, months down the line. But if you do change your mind, don’t be surprised if they don’t want to contact you no more. People are afraid to get hurt but sorry you will get hurt as relationships will have ups and down. This tweet below talks about relationships:

Although I mentioned you shouldn’t let your past hinder your future if you feel you still feel you can’t be in a relationship because you feel you are not ready because of your anxieties, bitterness or something in the past that has triggered you to show anger than it’s best to step back and fix your issues. If you in the relationship and your problems are still there you could have an impact on your partner and he/she could be damaged as well.

Self-love is paramount to any relationship you have with your friends, partner, colleagues, family etc. If you don’t have it, people will see that and they will take advantage. When you have self-love you will feel stronger, happier and wise to make the right decisions in your life. For a relationship it’s important to have the right state of mind to be in a relationship. Be in a relationship because you want to be and not because you have to be. You see your friends being in a relationship and you think to yourself I got to be in so I don’t feel left out. That’s peer pressure. You see people in a relationship or married but act single. If you want to enjoy life, build yourself then be single. It’s the best way.


Relationships is challenging emotionally and hard work but if 2 people are really into each other they will do whatever it takes to make it work. The key to a successful relationship is communication, honestly and also take things slowly. However some people are not honest and instead led on you and play games. They say they don’t want to be in a relationship but frankly it’s more like I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. You can tell in where they give you excuses in why they can’t meet or ignore your calls/whatsapp messages. If they value you, they will make an effort to see you otherwise you are not a priority. They didn’t like you enough, feelings will get hurt and you feel rejected and this is how I am feeling. It is normal to feel disappointed yes but why this has hit the nerve? I guess for me is when I was at high school, I got bullied constantly in where people called me a egghead, ugly and no one didn’t want to be around me and when I get rejected whether it’s relationships, friendships, jobs etc., it reminds me of this. I won’t lie as a Christian it has tested my faith and began to question God. Although rejection is hard, pain is hard but it can be healer and make you grow and I guess that’s why I am writing this blog to express my feelings.

My mum said this to me and I will tell my future kids, “A person who is persistent will achieve success. “ So this wanting to retire, give up and not finding a partner is silly. So this phrase I am feeling I should not let this break me. Never give up on something that means a lot to you. Besides I am not even reached 30 yet. So I’ll continue to press for my life goals, don’t lose hope but also enjoy life.

#blackpanther review

When it comes to comic-book films, Marvel are on the their job as they constantly make great films and when Black Panther was announced, it was a film that was going to be highly anticipated and talk about in particularly for the black community. If you watched Captain America: Civil War, you see Black Panther being featured for the first time. The eighteen movie from Marvel Cinematic Universe follows that film in where T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) returns to an African nation called Wakanda as king following the death of his father. However there are challenges in his new role as past and present events could disturb to the kingdom and the world.

After an introduction of how Wakanda comes to place, we go to the year 1992 in where we glimpsed T’Challa’s father before the present day in where T’Challa goes in a rescue mission. This mission resembles of a mission you may see in Nigeria as he was rescuing girls in where they have been kidnapped by an Islamic group called Boko Haram. The film is slow to pick up but as it continues, it gets steady and you understand the more of the plot in where the gang, T’Challa, Okoye (Danai Gurira, and T’Challa’s ex Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o) head to South Korea to attempt to stop arms dealer Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis) after he stole a Vibranium piece in where he could use it to disturb Wakanda.

#blackpanther #blackexcellence

The storyline however for this feature film is something that’s ordinary but the way the storytelling is formed, it becomes compelling as the film goes on. It has sub plots for the characters in the film in where it’s absorbing and has its significance. For instance you see T’Challa speaking to his late father but from the background it has a resemble moment from the classic The Lion King and the scene looks amazing. What makes it more impressive is this film is directed by Ryan Coogler in where its only his third movie after Fruitvale station and Creed  in where his films has been ambitious and enthralling and it has come to great effect. This film is another example. The soundtrack for this film is stunning as well in the cinematography. Performance wise everyone do their job well particularly the supporting acts. Boseman is efficient as Black Panther, Guira is tough as nails in leading a female guard, man of the moment Daniel Kaluyya who plays W’Kabi was cool and Michael B Jordon who plays kills Eric ‘Killmonger’ Stevens who is seeking vengeance has that confident, swagger, gangster feel in where it works well. Also Winston Duke is ace as M’Baku but a person that may have stolen the show is Letitia Wright who plays T’Challa’s sister Shuri. She brings that aura in where her character is so likable. It beings out energy and she is the equivalent of Q in the 007 films then she shows her brains but also a cheeky comic side.

However they are hiccups in the film. Although the storyline managed to be compelling as it does look ordinary, the finale of the film is a disappointment. The action scenes could have been tweaked a bit more to make the film overall more spectacular. Frankly this film was overhyped which I couldn’t understand why as this film was certainly not a spectacular film. Don’t get me wrong this film is class but I’ve seen from social media that it’s the best superhero film of all time. Have you forgotten The Dark Knight? There are superhero films better than this.

But there’s one thing this film should take massive applaud and it’s the representation of black people in this film. Whenever you watch films, mostly you see black people in a negative aspect. They are criminals, drug dealers or being slaves. For this film you don’t see anything of that, you see black people flourishing their blackness in a positive aspect. Although the film deals with conflicts and how it’s like to be a black person in Wakanda etc, it all comes back in knowing your values and traditions. Black people are allowed to portray their African heritage in where I believe Nigerian culture was featured and to see it in the screen makes you feel proud when watching it. Black Panther, an enthralling film has reached new rights.  It has brought positive cultural representation for black people in where could open doors for other opportunities to include black people and display their blackness in a positive aspect. Legacy for this film may be pending in years to come.

Social Media Can Be The Death Of Us

It’s remarkable how social media has risen so rapidly. Normally you would have to wait 24 hours or so to find it some information on the TV, newspapers etc. but now it’s accessible in social media feeds so you can get the information beforehand. It’s a platform in how we communicate differently from sending a tweet/direct message on Twitter to posting up videos and pictures on Instagram. Social media has become a big source as it’s a platform in where you talk about topics that’s important in where you can raise awareness but also interact with other people who may have the same interests as yours. It also gives you the opportunity to promote your career, your brand as well in job opportunities. It’s a powerful tool.

However social media is becoming too deep. 5-10 years ago you wouldn’t have to worry about it but now you feel you have to get involved to compete. You feel you would have to say something crazy just to get likes and RTs and as a result new followers.  There’s pressure to be part of social media and be a regular user otherwise you feel out of place. It’s become so influential as it’s accessible to many people. And with celebrities like Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Beyoncé to establish corporate and sports companies like Manchester Utd, Nike and RBS who have many followers who are also using social media, can use Facebook which has 2 billion monthly users around the globe not only to promote their work but possibly influence a lot of people. As well in that you see people with thousands of followers who think they are a ‘social media influencer’ and it’s mad and naïve for people to do something based on what a person says. You may see someone saying if a man has no licence, he has no ambition and for some women will see this and think that’s true and a man seeing this may feel I have to get a licence so a women will consider me. It’s mad what social media can do.

I feel social media can do more harm than good as people are getting way too involved on this. It was just a platform for people to voice their opinions but now it’s mainly negative thoughts as well in also talking about their personal life in where you think it shouldn’t be broadcast for people to see. It has created trolls in where people say malicious comments to upset a lot of people. Journalists who work for the Daily Mail, Tommy Robinson and Katie Hopkins are examples. They say outlandish stuff but it has worked in their favour as they received more attention.

Social Media
#socialmedia #facebook #twitter #instagram #tumblr #snapchat #pinterest #youtube

It has made people feel disengaged as we seek social media for validation. Instagram is an example in where you post a picture in you hope to get 50 likes but you only get 5 likes. Whereas you see a different picture on your friend’s profile and they get 200 likes and you feel annoyed about it. You start preeing their profile and comparing it to their yours and you feel resentful towards that person as you can see why their pictures has huge likes as their lifestyle is better compared to yours. This will result in low self-esteem and in order to have that lifestyle and to be recognised you feel you need to something on social media. However, it can a decision that’s rash and this what social media can imposed on people. People have taken social media seriously and it’s sad.

You may say stuff that was uncalled for and even though you have deleted that comment, the damage is done. Jack Mayward was forced to apologise as the tweets, which prompted allegations of racism and homophobia, were published in the Sun newspaper while Maynard, 23, was in Australia. This promoted him to leave I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. People feel they can entitled to say what they want in social media but if you say unsavoury comments, it could cost your job or even your relationships.

However it’s all not bad as I’ve mentioned previously as you can promote your work, your interests and even reunited with people who you lost touch with. Social media has proven its power in motivating people to action as well as a strong resource to influence social, political and economic policies. It’s key to be mindful on how social media and that it doesn’t control our lives. For me personally I don’t want to use every social media  platform that’s available as I know it will become an addiction and used it as a sole leisure activity rather than going out and socialise with friends. Social media has it’s positive traits but has more downfalls that people realised in where people can experience bullying so it’s important to key an eye on how you view social media is it can be the death of us if we let control us. There’s more to life than social media.

The Power Of Music

You know I am happy that an element like music has been created. Music can you feel happy, joyous but also help get you through the dark paths. It’s an expression that makes you feel at ease, reduce stress and feel like you are celebrating.

I remember when I was at high school, I was constantly being bullied and was having a tough time.  I needed something to escape from the anguish and I started writing songs to express how I was feeling when I was at school. Looking back it was songs of sadness but at least it got my mind of things. Being an adult person and still is having the love of music as when I listening to it, shows that without music, I wouldn’t be me. I become a different person and as a result I sometimes get eccentric. People may think that I am weird but that’s what #thepowerofmusic can do. Sometimes I think maybe I should have pursue it more when I was a teenager but at the time I was told by my parent that education is important.

As I mentioned, music is joyous but can be also very influential in where people will not only get inspired too but also influenced in their daily lives.  When I was at uni when I had night out, a song called The Motto by Drake and Lil Wayne was playing.  The lyrics from the song states that “You only live once, that’s the motto n***a, YOLO”. Who would have thought that after the song was played in radio stations, TVs etc. that this song would have made such a big impact! I recall when I entered retail stores, I saw T-Shirts with the name YOLO. I even see friends of mine quoting YOLO in their Facebook bio. YOLO has tone down but looking back I was thinking it shouldn’t really influence a younger generation but it has and I was one of them. And from my previous post Called Trending Perfection Celebrities I stated regarding celebrities “We idolised them and we are very impressed of their achievements and we regard them as role models. We follow their style, their body image and believe in what they say. Celebrities these days can be very influential.”


Music can be therapy to some people as it can make you have energy out of nowhere but music can bring out the best of people but also the worst. I am big music lover so I listen to most types of music. I definitely like listening to hip hop music bust sometimes I do query why I listen to this type of music because the lyrics can be distasteful. Rappers mostly rap about sex, drugs, money and violence and its’ glorified like it’s the norm. Yes they feel they have to rap about this based on their struggles they had but young people see the fame and the benefits the rappers have entailed and they are inspired to that. They feel I can be successful like the rappers if I be like them.  Don’t get me wrong, you can get influence by any genre you listen to but for me, hip hop is a genre that is becoming a huge influence. From a Christian respective, it’s important to listen to gospel music more than secular music so we can have positive mind-set and get right with God. There’s nothing wrong in listening to secular music as they are not all bad but music is so influential you could get easily corrupt. That’s why I aim not to listen to music that could lead me think in a way that’s uncommon.

Music can be a gift from God. It can inspire people to better themselves but can get heavy influence from lyrics musicians have used frequently to sell records. Music make you get have a deep connection with the musician’s lyrics that you may act use it solely for your lifestyle and it may bring repercussions. For me, music is like an addiction as you can’t enough of it and you need it to make you feel it ease. Music is escapism. Music is a powerful tool and that’s guys is  the power of music.

#wheninrome review

There have been some films you have always wanted to watch but either you didn’t have the time to watch it or you have forgotten. When In Rome is one of those moves I wanted to watch. From what I’ve seen it looks interesting and when it appeared on BBC Two on the 2nd of January, this was my opportunity to watch. It also gives me the chance to see Kristen Bell as I had a crush on her when I see her on TV programmes such as Veronica Mars and Heroes and films like Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Couples Retreat.

#wheninrome# #rome #kristenbelll

This romantic-comedy film that was released in January 2010 starts Kristen Bell as Beth who is married to her job heads to Rome for her sister’s wedding in where she’s engaged to an Italian guy.  At the wedding she meets Nick (Josh Duhamel) and they hit it off. She started to believe that finding love is real but when she goes to find him, her hopes are dashed as she sees him kissing another woman and understandably she gets upset. She mutters to herself in where she steals 4 coins from a special fountain. However what she didn’t know that from the fountain, picking a coin will making people fall in love with you in where she’s pursued by 4 guys Lance (Jon Heder), Gale (Dax Shepard) who is Kristen’s Bell partner at the time before they got married), Antonio (Will Arnett) and Al (Danny DeVito).

From the first 20-25 minutes the film looked alright and maybe it had potential to be a decent film but the film fell down dramatically. The turning point was the 4 guys in where they under as spell thanks to the coins from the fountain in where they are in love with Beth and they start chasing her one by one.  The purist of Beth from the guys was made to look this was a funny chase but not only it was unfunny, it was uncomfortable and unsettling to watch. You would feel sorry for Beth. If you do laugh, it would be laugher of resentment.

The tarnished script doesn’t help the film as it’s so filthy. We have Beth’s boss, Celeste (Anjelica Houston) aiming to be a wannabe Meryl Streep in The Devils Wears Prada but it fails miserably. And the two leads Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel who are not awful in this film who have little chemistry but as its chemistry that makes them fall in love each other and I am thinking how is that possible as the film doesn’t give it justice. Scene after scene made the film look disastrous. The only positive thing you could say about the film is how beautiful Rome looks.

#kristenbell #joshduhamel

I have watched films that are not good but this film is in a category of really bad films. Romantic-comedy films are not normally good films but I was intrigued in the film. It became a film I wouldn’t want to see again. It’s a distasteful, forgettable, shocking film and one of the worst films I’ve ever seen.


Momentous 2016. Tremendous 2017

Astounding. Unbelievable. Ridiculous. Shocking. That would be some people will be describing 2016. For me I would call the year 2016 momentous as 2016 has been really some year as extraordinary things has happened around the world.

On June 23, the UK had to decide whether we should leave the EU or not. The main issue of this EU referendum  was immigration if we left the EU and economy if we stay in the UK. And when the UK decided that we should leave the EU, there was a shock because it was unexpected as no one was anticipated that the UK people will vote to leave.  But what I do know is this before and after the EU referendum vote it has caused some much division and tension. From what I have seen from social media, friendships have been ended because of this which is sad, people are ashamed to be British but also with that bigotry.  There were protests in London outline the outage of the result in where “some people are calling for a second referendum at such a time in the future”. But what shocked me there’s has been an increase of hate crime since the vote in where Racist or religious abuse incidents recorded by police in England and Wales jumped 41%.

But 6 months after the vote, Brexit is still discussion and with the high court rejecting the decision for the government to trigger Article 50, some people doubt whether Brexit is actually going to happen. However an appeal has been made  to the Supreme Court with a judgement expected in January.

Days after the EU referendum, there was a football tournament Euro 2016 in where England was playing Iceland with a population of over 330,000. England was expecting to beat them but they lost 2-1. England was out of Europe twice in one week. People were ashamed to be British because of the result of EU vote, well it should be aimed at the England players as they delivered a total abject performance.  A low moment and an embarrassment for the country.

#england #iceland #euro2016 #celebrations #despair #englandoutofeuropetwice

The tournament itself was mediocre in where Portugal won it which I can’t believe it still thinking of it as they are an average team (sorry Portuguese people who are reading this) but they did what they have to do.

But what was remarkable was the US elections in November in 2 unpopular people Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump had to chance to be in the White House. Despite being unpopular, forecasts predicted that Clinton will beat Trump to the White House but like the EU referendum they were wrong as Trump wins the vote. Like many people I was astound as Trump is a racist, misogynist, vile person and it’s clear in the public eye yet people still voted him to be the next POTUS. It’s a sequel to Brexit but the American version as like in the UK, voters from a different class or generation felt they are being left behind so they want to seek an alternative opinion and Trump was the answer in terms of what he saying.

My tweet below shows what I think of this.

We had the celebrity massacre as there were so many celebrity deaths like Prince, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Muhammed Ali, Terry Wogan, Ronnie Corrbet to George Michael who died on Christmas Day and Carrie Fisher who her mother Debbie Andrews died a day later.  And then there were attacks in France, Turkey, Germany and the civil war in Syria which has lasted for over 5 years although ceasefire across Syria appeared to be holding.

2016 has been a dark year but it has been a development year for me as for my Christian faith I’ve been out and about in where I have been in conversations with people I haven’t meet before in where I have given them leaflets to come to my church group on a Sunday in where we have discussions on relationships and God of course. I think without the group I don’t think I would have the confidence to speak to people about Jesus. I am not at the stage in where I’ll be at shopping centres in where I speak aloud about Jesus and not sure if I will do it but what I am doing is a start. I’ve done a free 2 days coaching course in where I was learn and use coaching techniques on someone to help them achieve their goal.  Even though I didn’t pursue the coaching course further, this course did made an impact in my life as it helped me get my first ever girlfriend so thanks coaching course lol.  Unfortunately that didn’t last for long as I got dumped by phone which wasn’t cool. It crushed me and I was down heartened but despite this I have learned things from the relationship in where I am going to put right in the next relationship.

Although I have developed, I haven’t achieved things I wanted for example have my own flat or a new job as I’ve worked pretty hard in my current role which will help get that stepping stone but that hasn’t happened. Not only it has been frustrating but also demoralising as I seen my friends having stable careers and in stable relationships. I don’t think I am the only person to do this but we compared our lives to our friends and see what they have achieved and we try to cope their lifestyle like it’s a competition. I think that’s dangerous as it could lead to being impatient, insecurity and as a result make rash decisions.

I saw this post on twitter and I think it reflects on how we should be viewing our situation.

#life #dontcompare #bepatient

2017 has arrived and people will be making their New Year’s resolutions and say this New Year is the year for me but they say it year after year after year. But in order to make this year tremendous, you must continue to press your goals as no one is going to stop you from achieving your goals expect YOU. It’s important to stay motivated and not get influence from your peers including your family.  Although 2017 has begun you shouldn’t wait for the year to start your plans. You may feel you had a rubbish 2016, but if you did start making moves big or small last year it can work in your favour in 2017 and the end of the year you will be thinking good I’ve done something in 2016. Whatever happens, make this year a #tremendous2017 in where this year will be the best yet in where your goals and ambitions will be a reality.

Suicide Squad Review

This year has been a year of comic book superhero films. Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice, Deadpool, Captain America Civil War, X Men Apocalypse and Doctor Strange which is out later this year. This month was the release of Suicide Squad and I watched it the first day of release.  From the title, this film is not a happy go lucky film.

#suicidesquad #supervillians #dccomics

The plot involves a bunch of supervillains assembled by Amanda Walker (Viola Davis) to help tackle high level mission threats that could disband the United States government and the world in exchange for lessen sentences. Directed by David Ayer who has made underrated films End Of Watch and Fury starts off the film with sub stories of each of the villains. Deadshot (Will Smith) the world most wanted assassin, Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) an ex psychiatrist turned to a crazy supervillain thanks to the help of the joker (Jardo Leto) who she fell in love with in where it’s a dysfunctional abusive relationship, Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney) who can detonate deadly boomerangs, fire ability mental human ex gangster El Diablo (Jay Hernandez) and Killer Croc (Adewable Akinnoye-Agbaje) who’s suffered a skin condition and has crocodile features. From that you feel this film is showing for greatness but the plot becomes sluggish.

You may be given the impression that the supervillains are going to enable missions from around the world but instead it’s close to home as the squad who is led by Colonel Flag (Joel Kinnaman) has a girlfriend Dr June Moone (Cara Delevingine) is possessed by evil demon called Enchantress who aims to get rid of the human race. The team then head to Midway City to fight some CGI minions. With this film, you maybe think that Ayer wants to develop a film in where the supervillains will eventually become superheroes. But the problem is there are not superheroes. It’s a darkly film and as Hayley Quinn points out “We’re bad guys. That’s what we do.” There’s no character in where we can root for. This could be the fact that there is a lack of character development.  If there was more depth to the back stories of the characters this would make a difference in how the film will planned out. Instead, watching Suicide Squad remind me of watching Sucker Punch which was directed by Zack Snyder (director of Batman V Superman) in where I felt I was watching a video game rather than a film and this was reciprocated in Suicide Squad.  It’s just a bunch of supervillains killing bad guys and that’s it.  This makes the plot bland and the film predictable.

#harleyquinn #badass #crazy #crazygirl #goodgirlgonebad #suicidesquad

However it’s not all bad. The film is pretty fun with enjoyable action scenes. The actors who played the characters do a good job. Will Smith and Viola Davis do a respectful job in their roles. Although Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker which was not only magnificent but also sinister and unsettling which is something you won’t see  a performance like that  ever be achieved, Jardo Leto portrayal of the Joker is something that has a swagger gangster feel which at times can be scary as he has a psychotic side. Does it work in this film? Yes but in some parts but not all and it could be the fact that he’s trying to element Heath ledger’s Joker performance and the character is in love as watching previously Batman films, we don’t usually see a character like this before. It’s different but also unusual. However this is not a batman film.  But there’s one person who delivers a top notch performance in this film, it’s Margot Robbie. Her character Hayley Quinn is something that makes you have an attachment towards her. Her energy, her presence, her craziness is something that makes her more appealing. This could that she’s wearing very short hot pants in where it shows infatuation and sexual desire and fantasy for men. I don’t think it’s necessary for her character to be sexualised in that manner but unfortunately we live in the world in where women are deemed as sexual objects. But don’t take anything away from her performance.

You would have hope that this DC Comic film would put the DC back to glory and although it’s better than the lacklustre dull Batman V Superman, it has a long way to be in line with the Marvel film releases this year. It could have been so much more.


B.A.S. (Blacks And Seeking)

People strive to better themselves and improve their inner self while people strive so they can fit in the crowd, be accepted and not be an outcast. Unfortunately some go to extreme measures to be included.

On April 25th 2016, Lil Kim was trending on social media. If you don’t know how Lil’ Kim is she’s a black Hip Hop Artist who had a relationship with the late Notorious B.I.G.  I checked to see why she was trending and I noticed that from her photos that she has bleached her skin in order to have a complexion of a Caucasian white woman. When I looked at the pictures I was in shocked but also in disappointment.  She looked fine how she was and she didn’t need to do this.  However if you look at this tweet below you will see that black men is apparently the cause of Lil’ Kim bleaching her skin.

Also I have seen there’s quotes from Lil’ Kim regarding her low self-esteem and how black men felt about her.

Whether her quotes are true or not, unfortunately black men do talk down to black women.  Black women are stereotype as an “Angry Black Woman” and they have an attitude. I disagree with that stereotype as all races can be angry and have an attitude and not just black women but unfortunately they are known as that and black men speak it about continuously . They also say that they are not attractive enough and so on. An issue I think that’s a big problem is the light skin/dark skin thing. I know some guys and women would rather to go out with a light skin person who’s in a mixed decent rather than dark/brown skin person. Yes it’s ok to have a preference but to discriminate our own kind is wrong.  We all have black features whether we are light skin, dark skin or brown skin. With this into consideration, this has caused division for us black people as we don’t appreciate each other.

I was on a dating website and look at a black woman profile and she mentioned she will  only consider Caucasian guys. Out of curiosity, I messaged her to find out more. I enquired on how come she’s not into black guys and she said she just not interested.  There has to been a reason so I asked more and she said some black guys have hurt in the past which is why she wants to date white guys. I said she shouldn’t generalise black guys as we are not all like that. She replies “I know they aren’t all the same but for the sake of my sanity I’m not going there again.” I was dumbfounded when she said that and now I am thinking about it as I write this I still am.  It’s not the first time I have seen a profile like this and won’t be the last but it breaks my heart when I hear these stories where a black woman’s confidence is dented by a black man.

On the other hand, I had a discussion with my close friend about black women last year and him and I feel that black women don’t want to date black guys. Maybe because we hear that some black women say that a white guy can treat them better than a black guy. I rebuke that statement.  There is no scientific evidence to proclaim that a white guy can treat a black woman better than black guys. Black men can treat black women like a queen. It’s the same for Asian guys, Mediterranean guys and Latino guys. Every race can treat someone well. So if a black woman think dating a white guy will automatically mean that he will treat me better than a black guy will you are wrong as regardless of their race us men are unfortunately pricks.

When us black folks seen white folks being portrayed in the media or in the society, you can see they are successful in their careers but also see that white privilege is on point. This has made impressions that if we act in a certain way, talk in a certain way or be with a white woman/man, it will give us the opportunities to excel in life and better treatment in society.

As I mention that Lil Kim has bleached her skin, a number of black female celebrities have done the same thing. Mica Paris stated in her Daily Mail article in where she highlighted Beyoncé in where she has lighten her skin to be in a reflection of  a Caucasian woman it imprint upon every impressionable young woman of colour the message that she is not good enough as she is, it also suggests that, despite her meteroic success, Queen Bee thinks she must alter the very fabric of her being to make herself more palatable to the masses.  And with the rise of skin bleaching products, it’s been heavily used in African, Caribbean and Asian countries in where a staggering 70% of Nigerian women admit to admit to using skin lightening products.

But Hydroquinone which is common in skin bleaching products can cause side effects in where it can cause skin cancer. This is now banned in Ghana, as well in Australia, US and Japan but it worries me that some black people are willing to this as apparently in Africa, men and especially women with lighter skin are favored over those with darker skin, leading to better opportunities and treatment in society. However, this is a dangerous game if they think this is the case.

An abstract called Race, Class and ‘The Harmony of Dispositions talks about the identity of black middle class and their comparison to white middle class. Despite being middle class, from a study black people felt they have little control and power. This may because white people who are in the same class don’t feel they should be in the same category and as a result limit their opportunity.

This has led to mention this quote. “They engage skills from their ‘cultural toolkit’ (Moore, 2008: 498) such as code-switching and changing accent (Cassandra, Training Company Director) or speaking the ‘language of whiteness’ (Jean, College Lecturer) to fit into and navigate white space. This is risky work because while they possess ‘appropriate’ capitals (education, qualifications, accent, dress) and seek to deploy them to their advantage, recognition and acceptance (by whites) that their capital carries legitimacy is not guaranteed.”

In this world, White is deemed right and Black is deemed wrong and for some black people, they may have been told that to be accepted into this white world, we would have to lose our blackness and engaged in their whiteness. But is it worth it?

#Beyoncé #blackpanthers #blacklivesmatter #blackpower

Beyoncé was a headline act during a half time show at the Super Blow 50 this February in where she performed a song called Formation. It had a political message as she made a tribute to Black Panthers.  People praised her message while some was critical. Tomi Lahren is a TV host in where she expressed her views from a news platform called The Blaze. She made a commentary regarding Beyoncé’s performance and it received an uproar. Why? Because her views were deemed as a racist but I have a YouTube clip for you to see for yourself.


I don’t know if she thought of this but with lightening her skin to be in a skin of a Caucasian woman, Beyoncé may think no racist remarks from her white peeps.  Well she was wrong as despite of this they view her as a black woman and a black person are known as being lazy, aggressive, uneducated and violent. Again I rebuke that stereotype as all races can have these traits and not just black people.  But perceptions and stereotypes is something that will not go away and unfortunately the labels black people have will not disappear. It has been around for centuries as black people were forced into slavery and face discrimination and racial abuse because of the colour of our skin and still it affects us today. So really what we do in lightening our skin or changing our appearance or speak in an accent for validation, it won’t make a difference as to them we are not valuable and they don’t care even if we do change our lifestyle.  In terms of education, I am not saying that you should not get an education. You should as it will open opportunities, but what I am saying is we shouldn’t change our personality, culture for anyone as if we do our effects may not be recognised.  Also I know some white people who maybe reading this and think that I am demonising. Well I am not. I am talking about the struggles black people experience.

To conclude, black people shouldn’t be seeking approval from white people as what we do won’t make a difference. But instead of trying to impress, we should EMBRACE our culture, EMBRACE our blackness and EMBRACE our heritage. Be proud of the country you have come from whether you are from African country or from a Caribbean country.  Don’t seek things to get acceptance by others as they will take advantage. We should not be consumers and not be used as a propaganda in terms of entertainment and instead take control of our being, our kind, our race. Unfortunately, being a black person is tough as we faced prejudice and discrimination and as result we lose our identity but being a black person is great. We are smart, intellectual and attributes that any person of race would like to have and embrace.  Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Malcolm X and Muhammad Ali are examples of great black people who wanted to make a difference.  We have a wonderful culture as now the western world are embrace our culture although it’s now formed of cultural appropriation and at times some countries use it in a way from their own benefits. But the fact that our culture is being used shows something good is happening.  Most importantly we should support for one another as frankly we are not. We are divided as the media divided us based on the news regarding blacks within the society. We shouldn’t let this happen and destroy our race. We shouldn’t talk down our race, not self-hate and instead show encourage, wisdom and use our strengths to show that being a black person is a great so we can be a role model.  We should be proud of who we are and where we come from because Black Is Beautiful. I am proud to be a black person and so should you.

#charliegrowthpain #blacksandseeking

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Be A Winner

Hey guys. Thought I should share some piece in where I hope you can be motivated, never give up in your current situations and most importantly Be A Winner. So what made me inspired to write this? Well a month ago, I had an important week as I had 2 interviews and felt it could change my life for the better so had to prepare for it but things didn’t go my way. My laptop malfunctioned and the information I prepared for my interviews was on it and didn’t have a copy. I was freaking out but reassurance myself, be determined and to be successful in the job interview. I did my best but unfortunately I wasn’t successful in the job interviews. Although disappointed, I call myself a winner. Why? Because I have achieved the goals I wanted to achieve. I went to university and graduated with a degree, organised a fundraising event in where I raised over £100 and despite not being successful in my job interviews, I have a job in where I was successful. I kept thinking of goals that have achieved in my life so I won’t get dishearten and you should do the same. Yes there’s goals we would like to accomplished but we should have be happy of what you have achieved so far and with determination, hard work and presence, the goals that we really want to achieve will become a reality.

Unfortunately, when there are sets backs things instead of battling a way through, some people like to give up too easily. An example is when a person aims to be singer but keeps getting rejected in getting a record deal and as a result they give up. Yes some people may not get their dream job but you must deal with the disappointment and keep moving forward. Rejection is part of life.

#life #obstacles
Last year, I got a job working in retail. A few days into the job, it became overwhelming as I was constantly filled with information of what my job entails. The working environment was tough and I was already severely under pressure and it wasn’t even a week. I was struggling but was determined to pull through. There were two people who were in the same interview as me in where they’ve got the job, started their jobs a week earlier than I did. However, a week later into my job, they quit after 2 weeks. I was in shocked that they have quit that soon. I wasn’t able to ask why the person resigned as I didn’t see him but was able to ask the other person and she said the culture of the organisation was too serious, the management team was discouraging and as I mention before I was severely under pressure, so was she. It was too much for them which made them leave.

It’s a shame it happened but to be blunt, not everyday things will go according to plan. They will be stressful days and at times you want to walk way but you have to find a way to overcome difficult situations. I didn’t quit my job. I kept fighting on and overcome obstacles. If your workplace has working conditions that are too severe and you have to leave then leave. However it’s important to have a positive mentality rather than a negative mentality in difficult times. You should never give up on something you work hard for.

This can also be said for relationships. In a relationship, you will have great times with your partner but also experience bad times. However we live in a world, in where some people will stick for you for the good times but are non-existent for the bad times and as a result some people take the easy option in ending the relationship. In my opinion, some people have high expectations when it comes to relationships and it’s because of what you see from films and TV programmes in where relationships are deemed as perfect. Also the rise of social media makes some relationships dysfunctional as instead of communication face to face, thoughts and feelings are now expressed through messages etc. Every relationship is not perfect as each person has their faults and failures and if you ending a relationship for a lousy excuse, then you are a fool who didn’t value the relationship.

In order to have a successful relationship, you must support your partner in the good times and especially the bad times. If you continue to avoid your problems instead of sorting them out, you won’t grow as a person. If you feel the relationship is worth saving for and you are determined to make it work, then seeking a counsellor may be an option. This can resolve your differences, having a better understanding between yourself and your partner and most importantly have better communication. If it doesn’t resolve your differences and as a result you and your partner have broken up but it has helped you in future relationships then its better in improving yourself as a person than having nothing at all.

My motto is: Don’t be a quitter. Be a winner. Fight for what you want in your life. Quitters are for losers.

It may take weeks, months or even years for you to achieve your goals but with determination and dedication, eventually you will get there. Yes it’s difficult to be positive all the time but positive thinking = positive minds = positive goals. Eventually someone will say to you that you are successful in your job application. Eventually after rejection after rejection, a bank will lend you a loan so you start your business. Eventually someone will be happy to be your girlfriend/boyfriend as there’s someone out there for everyone. EVENTUALLY IT WILL HAPPEN. You have to believe that your hopes and desire will happen.

There are some people who give up on their dreams as they are influenced by their friends or what they see from the society for example there’s limited opportunities for BME to succeed. Although it may be the case, it shouldn’t stop you succeeding. Don’t limit yourself from what you see from the media that makes you have some doubts. Surround yourself with good people, keep pressing towards your goals and most importantly Be A Winner. Hopefully this will inspire you but if not below is an inspirational speech from the movie Rocky Balboa starting Sylvester Stallone. It’s very moving.


Balboa quotes
#inspirational #motivation #speech #rocky #rockybalboa #movies

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